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User blog:DancePowderer/661 Abridged
After reading this chapter, it would be impossible not to abridge it. Cover: Hannyabal got fat, Domino found a stick. Luffy: Oh no! Bazookas! Usopp: I hate bubblegum! Boat goes up. Zebra centaur (ZC): It's a lot easier to hit the water than it is to hit something small on it. Brownbeard: I never thought of that. And Devil Fruit users can't survive in water. It's like killing two birds with one stone. I'm a genius! Usopp: Gah! It's so cold! Nevermind that I'm a 90 degree head turn away from motorboating Robin, this shit is cold! And, even if i wanted to, my spine is frozen in place. Zoro: Look, I'm a ventriloquist. Luffy as the dummy (not much of a difference really): I don't want to be friends with them anymore, let's beat their asses. Brownbeard: Boomsticks at the ready. Zoro: Usopp, hold my dummy. It's cuttin' time. Usopp: Zoro, now is not the time to soak your neck. Zoro: Not me, you idiot. Usopp (looks below the water): Why are there multiple Bruces in the lake!? (If you don't get it, you should be ashamed of yourself). Brownbeard: Because, you're in a crater made right next to a rift that allows ocean water to flood in, DUH! Usopp: Well, our trumpcard just became breakfast. I am dead in the water! Brownbeard: Fire! Brook: Hey! Only one person gets to make the death jokes around here, buster! Brownbeard: Why boomstick go wrong way? Brook: I am the blizzard (I just got that Ozzy Osbourne reference). You are the Tropius to my Cubchoo. I froze your barrels. Brownbeard: Great, now take off the mask. Oh, and who the hell are you!? Brook: I came back from the land of the dead, and heck boy ain't it grand? I'm the Soul King of the underworld and I had my own band (if you don't know the melody, then sucks to be you). Also my name is Brook. Centaurs: You bastard! Just you watch. We're going to download all your songs illegally! Brook: Too late, I already did! But this is for thinking about doing that in the first place! Brownbeard: Why are the sharks floating and where did those guys go? Zoro: Look at the sharks, now back to me, now over to Brook, thanks by the way, now back to me. You underestimated us, I'm freezing my ass off. Usopp: I told you we should have dressed for the weather but noooo, Nami is little miss weather girl, she said hot. Robin: I spy with my little eye something that begins with L. Zoro, Luffy, Robin: 'L'et's mug the centaurs and take their coats. Centaur 2: What do you think they're talking about? Anyway, eenie, meenie, minie, moe, I call the one with the nose. Centaur 3: Give me the girl. I'll make a mare out of her. Straw Hats: Shopping spree!!! Usopp: Can I come too? Brownbeard: Shut up, my head's doing that thing again. I'm braining. And shit on a birdhouse! I remember that guy. His bounty is 5x as much as mine. OH SHIT! HIS BOUNTY IS 5x HIGHER THAN MINE! Meanwhile, where there's less talking. Smoker: Hey Law, did anyone ever tell you you suck as an artist? Law: Shut up, I'm busy putting children in danger to attack adults. Abra cadabra. Straw Hats: We're all in love! Law: And, like with most relationships, it will end, in SHAMBLES! Nami: That was odd. Chopper: Quite the out of body experience. Franky: This is sure one freaky friday. Sanji: I just had a change of heart about my attitude toward female human womenses. I like them now. Hi, Nami. (I would make more puns, but we must move on) Nami: I have boobs! SCORE! Franky: Why do i feel taller, have the feeling of rolling, and am suffering what I can only describe as the worst hair day ever? Chopper: Why am I a furry? Kids: Just keep running, just keep running. Marine: I say we retreat. Smoker (points up): Ok, now get in the ship. Marine: Hey, half of one ship is attached to a mountain. Smoker: Trafalgar, I repeat, you suck as an artist. Also, I'm gonna tell on you. So there. Law: Whatever. Artful Dodger's Sweeping Flash Mug! Drops the Den Den Mushi. Law: I'm gonna sell these on the black market. You can't ever leave. I still want to play. Forever and ever. Smoker: Trafalgar, I hope you don't mind if I smoke your ass! Ope Ope no Mi. Law: What about it? Smoker: Congratulations, you're the first supernova that isn't a Straw Hat to have his power named. Eat jutte! Law: Missed me. Smoker: Men! Too little too late! Blah blah blah, fitting metaphor. Law: That's right, you're in my domain now. Welcome to the Thunder Dome, mo fo's. I'm Jack the Ripper and Dr. Kevorkian rolled into a burrito with just a touch of excessive egoism. There ain't no highway to the Dangerzone, I am the Dangerzone! The doctor is in, and he's not happy. Tashigi: Trafalgar Law! End this now, and I'll go out with you! Smoker: Tashigi, I forbid you to go on a date with him! Law: Sounds good, babe. How about dinner? What say we SPLIT the bill? Marines: Why him and not us! Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts